The
Coping

Mechanisms

When Your Mind Tries to Keep You Safe

One of the coping mechanisms that I do is try to disengage my mind from whatever I'm doing - usually that's watching TV, procrastinating, avoiding. It's coping in that situation where I can't do whatever it is that I need to do because I'm too scared. For me, I just get too scared.

I get genuinely terrified and have an emotional feeling that comes back as a physical feeling in my gut. I can't think.

The Goldfish Attention Span

I'm not talking about when I'm tired or when I'm drunk - I'm talking about just trying to tell somebody something, feeling some sort of fear, and suddenly my mind, to cope with that situation, will distract me. It's like a complete lack of focus.

You have to rebuild your thoughts, get back to where you were, but you've lost your train of thought. Your attention span becomes about five seconds long - same length of time as a goldfish.

The Reptile Brain Takes Over

If you've had trauma in your life, and you don't know how to deal with it, your mind will deal with it the same way it used to do. It will try to keep you safe - completely animalistic, the reptile part of your brain taking over.

My Journey: 38 to 43

I've done that for a long time. I'm trying to get this stuff sorted out now - I'm 43 now, I was 38 when I started realizing there was something wrong.

It took me three years once I found a good therapist to understand what I know now. That is a long time.

I wish I could have told myself that back when I was at school, around 18 or 30. But what could I do? I suppose I can try and help my children learn how to talk about their feelings, find a way to get them healthy, long-lasting ways to approach life.